I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
