Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
