We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
