Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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