I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
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I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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