How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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