Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
