You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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