i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
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