Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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