brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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