Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
