Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
