And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
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You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
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He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Did you pee in the oven last night??
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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