Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
