I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
