If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
