sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
