you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
