just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
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