i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
you had me at cake vodka
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
