great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
