She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
