You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
