giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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