you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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