I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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