I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
