i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
