And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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