My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
