she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
