Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
