Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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