i wish starbucks made bloody marys
My pussy is not your playground.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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