If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
