All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
