can we get nightvision for the apartment?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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