in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
