I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
