is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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