i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
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It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
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The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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