I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
