separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
