Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
