Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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