If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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