Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
This is the high leading the old right now
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
