Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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