we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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