i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
