he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
