You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
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He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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