So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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