4 words: hood of his car
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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