Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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