absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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