I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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