I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
