i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize