***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
That's when you crack a 10am beer
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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