Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
