my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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