Got a toothbrush?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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