dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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