i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
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He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
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Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Randomize